As if this country couldn't get anymore corrupt, commissioner Adam Silver has decided to remove the Brooklyn Nets from the NBA Playoffs and replace them with the New Orleans Pelicans.
"Zion I know, Caris I don't", said Silver. "In fact, I've been under the impression that 'Caris' was the wife of one of our players."
While the move is unprecedented, it's not particularly surprising. Team Zion played on national TV 30 times this year compared to 12 times for the Nets.
The star rookie had this to say when asked about his team's return to the bubble:
"I have fallen and I can't get up".
The 19-year-old is said to have gained enough weight since his departure from Orlando that police are investigating whether it was an alligator or the rookie who ate a small child at Disney World.
The Pelicans will enter the playoffs without their recently dismissed head coach Alvin Gentry.
"We didn't listen to him anyways", stated point guard Lonzo Ball.
Adam Silver was asked about the team's lack of coaching and how New Orleans is taking the spot of an Eastern Conference team in the playoffs.
"I'm just looking forward to enjoying a Lakers/Pelicans Finals", says Silver. "It's good for the league."
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